@GuntherGreen

The second Twitter String™ of the day is a fairly recent one and comes from the mind and stream of @GuntherGreen. It’s a perfect example of making the most of a very bad idea, with a grand finale. Enjoy.

I’m going to start a gang called the Pilgrims. We’re going to drive a Plymouth and wear buckles on our hats.

We got buckles on our motherfuckin’ hats, yo.

Hats. Buckles. Awesome.

It’s not the size of the hat buckle, it’s what you do with it.

I beseech thee, is it true what they sayeth? Why hath Master Standish adorned his headwear with such grand buckles? Compensating mayhaps?

Follow @GuntherGreen on Twitter (as if you didn’t already), and check out his Favstar page. Buckle up.

@ncguk

The first Twitter String is from one of my favorite Tweeters, @ncguk. Hailing from the UK (hence his Sooty avatar) @ncguk almost always succeeds in showing the absurdity in the simplest things. Below is a string of jokes he made when thinking of a common saying. Enjoy.

I don’t understand why the Pope would shit in the woods. Wouldn’t he use a toilet like everyone else? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Unless he really enjoys crapping in forests, and I suppose as God’s messenger on Earth he must have a few mental problems, it’s just odd.

It’s impractical as much as anything, hoisting up those unwieldy vestments and steadying his mitre while he squats to deliver the big one.

He’s just making life difficult for himself, particularly when you think that, with both hands occupied, he must struggle to use the Andrex.

Maybe it’s a papal tradition. Perhaps there’s a ceremony beforehand.

And then there’s the danger that, mid-def, he’ll be eaten by a bear.

My point is, watch out for the nettles, Ratzinger.

If you don’t follow @ncguk on Twitter yet, I suggest you start now. Or check him out on Favstar first. Quick!